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About Varied / Hobbyist Lauren20/Female/United States Group :iconsky-angels-fans: Sky-Angels-Fans
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Deviant for 6 Years
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I'm 20 now, that's weird to think about
goodbye awkward teenage years
hello awkward adult years
  • Listening to: Great White Whale - Secret and Whisper
  • Playing: Final Fantasy XIV: Heavensward
Alessia by Rauxlen
Trying out a different style than usual - it was fun!
Throwback to my original designs of Alessia - she was very much more edgy and angry back then
Gonna hit you with a stick
Amnesia: Memories by Rauxlen
Amnesia: Memories
This was for an art contest that Idea Factory was holding for the localization of Amnesia coming out next month

Didn't win but I'm still pretty happy with the result~
lol hi I havent updated this in forever, though you might've seen me posting some artworks and stuff


I really miss my friends on here, ngl, i feel a little bad for abandoning the place for as long as I did, but I got into a mega slump with art and whatever else

idk if I'll still be around as much as i was before, but I'll definitely try to get over here to update my stuff

As far as everything else goes...

Since you're watching me already it's not too big of a deal to talk about I guess?

I got into a depressive state starting before I moved out here back in '13, but getting extremely bad at the end of '14-now. I've been put on medications, but there's barely anything that seems to pick me up out of these slumps anymore. And depression is bad, man, real bad. I don't think I would wish it upon my worst enemies, even. Sometimes I can't get myself out of bed, can't get myself to do anything productive, I feel tired all the time, and don't enjoy the things I used to. The one thing that really helps is talking to and spending time with my friends, I love them a heck ton.


Let's see... since I updated this, I went out of state for the first time by myself in summer '14, to visit some internet friends for a few days. THAT was a frickin excellent experience. I mean, we basically just hung out in a hotel room for the few days I was there, playing cards and watching Ghost Stories, but it was super fun. Went to a Boris concert in Minneapolis and my ear drums probably broke and I nearly passed out and people were just smoking pot and spilling beer all over the ground but it was fun

After that I headed to California to spend some time with my grandparents, went to Disneyland, all that good stuff, and went back home. Once I got back, I had a case of appendicitis, so that was SUPER COOL. I had surgery on Labor Day, and being stuck in the hospital overnight getting pain meds pumped into me was one of the most chill experiences ever. I could just ring for food and they would bring it - so nice. People say that morphine really screws them up in the head but I felt very alert, albeit a little sleepy. I feel a little ripped off lolol.

So once that happened, I had to go to the Gamestop I worked at and quit without notice, due to having surgery and not being able to stand or walk. Boss was nooot happy about that, but what the heck was I supposed to do? Long story short, I broke down crying in the store because I was hurting really bad since I had just had surgery, plus I was tired and emotionally stressed from being told I can't quit LOL. But I ended up leaving and we're all still on good terms - I visit the store every once in a while to drop off donuts.

December I end up going back out to California to live with my grandparents for a month - take a vacation before I started college in January. I was having a rough time with my family back at home, and I needed a break. It was nice, I got to visit a lot of my friends, and just chill for a while without having to worry about responsibilities. My family was going to show up to visit for Christmas in mid-December, so it wasn't a looong break, but it was something. Unfortunately, the day before my family was supposed to come over, I get a call at 5 am from my sister saying that my old dog had passed away. This is still really hard to talk about cause like... My dog was my best friend. We got him when I was 7 and he had grown up with me, and had been who I hung out with all the time since we moved to Utah, since I didn't have many friends. I hung up the phone and sat there for a while, and the news hadn't really hit me until about an hour later and I just... couldn't stop crying for days. I hadn't seen him for two weeks and I had this horrible guilt that I had left him behind, I didn't get to say my goodbyes, that sort of thing. But then I start to wonder if I could've handled seeing him like that, afterwards. In any case, we buried him in this nice place up in the mountains, with a beautiful view of a river. After we got back from California, I brought up his bowl, his sweater, and a ball, and left them where he was buried. 

Oh no, this got sad again, didn't it?

Let's move on.

January I started college - I'm currently majoring in zoology, but getting all of my general credits taken care of. Didn't really make any friends, just acquaintances that I would talk to during class breaks and whatever, but nothing super serious. Since I left my job, I hadn't heard from the friends I had made there, either. While I would like to have friends irl, I'm ok without them. I have a lot of friends that I've made online that are some of the best friends I've ever had. Like I said, I love them a lot. I don't tell them nearly enough but EH hopefully they know.

And basically since then, I've gotten through my first college semester, am headed back out to California again next month, and sent in an audition for a Voice Acting role in a visual novel. Whether or not that amounts to anything is yet to be seen, but I'll let you guys know if something happens.

Other than that, I do have my youtube channel,…
I just play games and stuff like that, and post when I'm able, but it's something I really enjoy doing

Sooo sorry to totally ramble about stuff in my life, it's a little relieving to just throw this out there, admittedly

And it's good to see you guys again
  • Listening to: Great White Whale - Secret and Whisper
  • Playing: Final Fantasy XIV: Heavensward
Eala Ashdel by Rauxlen
Eala Ashdel
My Pathfinder character for the session I'm going to be in [hopefully] soon
She's a skinwalker who's pretty dumb because i wanted more points in DEX but didnt want to sacrifice charisma
She cut a part of her ear off by juggling knives, probably


Rauxlen's Profile Picture
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
Just a derpy kid [oh no i mean ADULT] who likes video games and anime a lot
I'm 20 now, that's weird to think about
goodbye awkward teenage years
hello awkward adult years
  • Listening to: Great White Whale - Secret and Whisper
  • Playing: Final Fantasy XIV: Heavensward

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Jadago Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
HI there! Happy birthday :)
Rauxlen Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks so much!
Jadago Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
no Problem ^^
I hope you had a nice day!
Konsu4 Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you very much for the Fav!!
fangirlasylum Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2014  Student Artisan Crafter
thanks for the fav on my bustle cage tutorial!!!!!
DrRyo Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2014  Hobbyist
Thanks for the faving my cosplay! *.*
nonvisiblebob Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks so much for the fav! =D
Psylla Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the fav! <3
haunted-harmony Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2013  Professional General Artist


Thank you so much for adding 'To Muerta, the Incompetent' to your favourites! c:

Stay Creepy!


Eeren Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
:hug: Thank you very much for the watch!! ^^
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